Homer Simpson
Lisa honey, are you saying that you're never going to eat another animal again?
What about bacon?
Lisa Simpson
No.
Homer Simpson
Ham?
Lisa Simpson
No!
Homer Simpson
Pork chops!?
Lisa Simpson
DAD! THOSE ALL COME FROM THE SAME ANIMAL!
Homer Simpson
He he! Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, MAGICAL animal. He he he.
Yes Homer! All those delicious meats come from a magical animal, the pig!
Pigs are magical?
You must be thinking I'm a mad man! You must be thinking, "Pigs are filthy animals! I know cuz I've seen Pulp Fiction. In the movie, they say that pigs sleep and root in it's own shit." This MAY be a true statement, but they still are yummy! Not only do they taste great in my mouth, they'll soon be great for an organ transplant! An alcoholic's dream come true!
According to the Huffington Post, BBC News and several other new sites, animal to human transplants(also known as Xenotransplantation) are right around the corner! Maybe within the next five years!
I'm starting tomorrow! Tomorrow I will buy a pig. The day after that, I will buy a farm. And after that, I will be taking online orders for organs! And no, my farm will NOT be like the book, Animal Farm! I will treat the animals with respect. The animals will love me, until it's too late for them! And then I will have ALL the money and ALL the livers! *maniacal laugh*
The future is NOW! And by now I mean tomorrow. And tomorrow I'll still be waiting for my hoverboard!!!!
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