I See The Football, Where's The Fantasy?

Sober Post :(

I joined my first ever fantasy football league last night. I don't know much about the sport, but I do love to talk smack. Which was is what really attracted to this league(I'll be playing against co-workers/friends who also talk smack. It'll be like being at home for the holidays!) Also, there isn't any money involved that I will be winning.

Fact: Sports gambling is illegal in the state of California...for now!

Since I don't rally know players nor teams, my strategy was simple. Get drunk and pick the prettiest/blackest/funkiest names. From what I've noticed, those are usually the best players.

Team name; Almost Drunk. Because at the time...I was almost drunk.

Let's hope beginners luck is a real thing!?


Writing while sober is so much more challenging then after having a few drinks! Hemingway would not approve of this!

Make it Hard!

OMFD

On todays episode, we're going to learn a little bit about different types of alcohol. I've also decieded I'm going to mention my level of drunkeness. In post, this will be found in the upper right hand corner of the post. And as my drunkeness changed, I'll post it as I go. "S = Sober, OMFD = On My First Drink, ALB = A Little Buzzed, B = Buzzed, D = Drunk, IWRTT = I Won't Remember This Tomorrow"

Pinky up everyone! Lets get ready to drink!

Whiskey; is a type of distilled alcoholic beverage made from fermented grain mash. Different grains are used for different varieties, including barley, malted barley, rye, malted rye, wheat, and corn. Whisky is typically aged in wooden casks, made generally of charred white oak.
So, it's made from grains!

I think I'll be getting most of the info from Wikipedia. If I get it from somewhere else, I'll add a link and whatnot. I mean, everything on Wiki/the internet is 100% accurat and truthful(sarcasm)

ALB

Rum; is a distilled alcoholic beverage made from sugarcane byproducts such as molasses, or directly from sugarcane juice, by a process of fermentation and distillation. The distillate, a clear liquid, is then usually aged in oak barrels.
So, it's made from sugarcane!

I keep seeing the word "distilled." Wikipedia, what's that word mean? 

Distillation;  is a method of separating mixtures based on differences in volatilities of components in a boiling liquid mixture. Distillation is a unit operation, or a physical separation process, and not a chemical reaction.

Umm, yeah?! I still don't understand that. I'm sure if I watch Moonshiners, It'll explain it all! But anyway, lets move on...

B

Gin; is a spirit which derives its predominant flavour from juniper berries (Juniperus communis). From its earliest beginnings in the Middle Ages, gin has evolved over the course of a millennium from an herbal medicine to an object of commerce in the spirits industry. Today, the gin category is one of the most popular and widely distributed range of spirits, and is represented by products of various origins, styles, and flavor profiles that all revolve around juniper as a common ingredient.
This one kind of confused me! Soooo, it's made of berries?  

Vodka; is made by the distillation of fermented substances such as grains, potatoes, or sometimes fruits and/or sugar.
So, it's made from anything? But normally potatoes.


Well, that's it for today everyone. Happy pooping! I think I'll end all my post with that...Happy Pooping!

Oh yeah, I've been drinking Gin and Tonic while writing this. It's not my usual thing, but why not try something new? 

I'm Sensitive

"Allergies are all in your head!"

Sorry voices in my head, you are wrong once again!

According to WebMD

"About 10% of the U.S. population has pet allergies and cats are among the most common culprits"

Hooray! I'm part of the 10 percent!!! Not wait...

I use to think that cats fur was the devil, but I kept reading on WebMD

"Contrary to what you might think, it's not the fur or hair that's the real problem. People with cat allergies are really allergic to the proteins in the cats saliva, urine and dander(dried flakes of skin. )

So what I'm saying is, what if we replace cats saliva glands with spray cans of water or something? This way they can still lick, clean and pleasure themselves without me sneezing and wheezing.

Things that bum me out about the things I love

Today's post was written by Amber C. The C stands for...

  I think the most helpful thing to say first off is that I'm a girl (mostly just lame) but also a girl. I love anime, Doctor Who, and comic books. I watch the IT Crowd and I still cry myself to sleep every night that Arrested Development and Firefly are still canceled. I read a lot and I enjoy math. Most of the time being a girl doesn't really affect any of these things. But then sometimes it does...and it all starts with slacker comedies..
        
 Here's the deal. Before guys like Vince Vaughn and Seth Rogan became sex symbols, us lame-o's could read comic books with male and female superheros that are toned and ripped and think, "yeah, I'm okay with this because its fantasy and this doesn't make me evaluate my life choices at all." But then we as society decided to make real dudes cool and I though "Awesome, sign me up. Finally!" So I watched movies like Superbad and Knocked Up. Crazy funny right?! Well, yeah they were awesome but the women are still insanely hot and stick thin, which is great for my pudgy/glass wearing brothers, but it feels like as a society we created sweet tree house full of happiness and laughter and everyone who got up there got a bag of candy and a Star Wars Xbox. We threw down a rope to the geeks so they could join but only the boys got to go. 
         
 So if I'm being over sensitive, ok I can see that point of view. But consider this. If I want to cosplay at the next convention my choices are severely limited if I'm not willing to walk around half naked or in soul crushingly tight spandex and if I flip over to G4 to watch some gaming related television the women who are supposed to be representing my interests are having pillow fights and wet t-shirt contests. So I guess my point is that I just really want a godamn Star Wars Xbox....

I Don't Remember That!

Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and asked yourself, "What happened last night?" If you have, you might be asking yourself that, because of a blackout!

Now, I'm not sure on the hows or whycomes(I know that's not really a word) of blacking out, all I know is what I've experienced. And what I do know is this, blacking out occurs after I  consume a large amount of alcohol in a short about of time. That consumption of alcohol impairs my ability to remember the events that are occurring at that time.

As we all know, when you consume alcohol, "liquid courage" goes into affect. Which means that, you're inhibitions are lowered, you "feel" more confident and worry less. The down side to this is, you lack common sense and tend to do stupid things you normally wouldn't do.


So, I don't remember where I was going with this post. But I would like to say this, don't get upset with someone that's blacked out. If you ask them to remember an inside joke or the song you guys danced to or if you ask them, "why were you dry humping me?" I was drunk! I mean, THEY were drunk and don't remember. Just let it be...and delete the pictures/videos you took!