Things I've Learned

Rainbows happen when unicorns fuck. Dolphins are gay sharks and they will rape you. No really, they will rape you! Life is what you make of it. If you're bitter and angry, life is going to suck! And if your life sucks, learn to swallow. You'll enjoy it better. AKA roll with the punches. AKA if life gives you lemons, blaa blaa. Cologne and body spray are a great way to cover up a night of drinking. Nothing in life is free! But if it's worth it, you won't mind paying for it tomorrow. Change happens. Nothing you can do to change that. See what I did their?!! Faith is not fact. The Internet has more then just porn on it!  Wisdom does not always come with age. Never trust a big butt and a smile. A bird WILL poop on you during your lifetime.  Girls fart. Beards are itchy.  Using the phrases, "Just saying" or "no offense" is an excuse to be mean. I have a short attention span. I would like to thank my friend Lenny! Without him, my post would be full of spelling and grammar errors.